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Ridiculous Things I Want For My Birthday

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My Christmas list this year as we know includes booze and oil changes, but what about my birthday list? All I want are these ridiculous things that I do not have the resources to make happen. Please dear God let me blow glitter from my hands, into a camera. And while I’m at it, I’d also like to have a glitter shower And then I want to hold these balloons while simultaneously eating a no calorie cupcake I would very much like a party hat to show off I’ve never had a macaron in my life. I’d like one of those please. Free appointment here: And a free appointment here: I want to wear one of these headbands, I don’t feel like I can ever pull these off but dear lord I want a reason to try without anyone judging me I just want to ride around on a yellow bike with a basket… Or pink would be ok too, just be sure it’s got that basket. And finally, all I want is to be celebrated by the blue knight at Medieval Times and be chosen as his princess and given that winning flower or whatever it is you get when you get chosen as the princess. But I’ll never know that feeling because they always give it to a DAMN CHILD. I’m sick of the kids getting all the admiration and crowd love. It is my birthday dammit. So, that is what I want for my birthday today. Seeing as I’ll be at work, on my birthday, from 8am-5pm, I’m not entirely sure how this is going to happen…. Where is the Genie from Aladdin when you need him?!

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